Proud Mama

Baru balik dari sekolah, ambil rapor semesteran my sunshine... gadis cilik yang pinter ini ternyata membuat mamanya bangga (lagi) dengan menjadi ranking 1 (lagi).. dan kali ini tambah embel2 'juara umum' karena nilainya paling tinggi dari semua kelas.. ga cuman kelas dia aja... hore hore hore...

Senang dan bangga jadi mama anak yang pinter ini...
semoga untuk seterusnya bisa begitu...

Doa yang lain..

Selama ini selalu berdoa ' Ya Tuhanku, jauhkanlah anakku dari lelaki brengsek seumur hidupnya. Amiien..'
Baru2 ini, melihat kejadian2 diseputar diriku, sepertinya doanya harus ditambah dengan "jauhkanlah anakku dari lelaki dan perempuan brengsek seumur hidupnya, dan semoga dia tidak tumbuh menjadi perempuan brengsek. Amiiien..."

sigh... *geleng-geleng kepala sambil ngelus dada liat kelakuan orang*

Unidentify

What am I suppose to do?
What should I feel?
It is so complicated.
The feeling is unidentify...
What is it heading for?
What is the end story. Would it be happy ending? or no ending at all?
Mistery
and unidentify

Mama & her daughter's day

As I mentioned in my blog long time ago, I'm a bit obsessed with the mother-daugher's relationship showed in Gilmore Girls between Lorerai & Rory. Maybe because I lack of that warm & amicable relationship... I'm not tell that my relationship with my mother is not good.. but it just not like that. ... and so, I try to build this kind of relationship with my baby daugher.. well, she's no longer a baby actually...

We just had a wonderful mama & daughter's day... we went to our fave mall together, just the two of us... had a sweet lunch (pancake with ice cream plus lychee ice tea!), tried out some nail polish and bough one, had our hair do at the fancy beauty salon... just some girly stuff... it was so great.... I never though that this will happen to me, to us...

Thank you my baby...
I wish we could do this more often...
I love you

Lebaran Sucks!

Lebaran telah usai...
Lebaran adalah hari dimana (seharusnya) kita bergembira, bersemangat, bersenang-senang.. tapi tidak dengan Lebaranku kali ini. It just sucks!
Untuk pertama kalinya dalam sejarah lebaran yang aku ingat, lebaran kali ini aku tidak makan ketupaaaattt... karna ga kebagian. sucks!

Stuck

I am stuck.
Stuck in this situation.
Stuck in this moment.
Nowhere to run, to get out of here....
But I know that I will survive...
God I love this song....

I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company
I never thought you were a fool, but darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
'Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it

I will not forsake the colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears, through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool to worry like you do.. Oh
I know it's tough and you can never get enough of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment and you cant get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter along this stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass

How to cope with... FRUSTRATION!

Everytime i facing big day such as birthday and Hari Raya, i become deeply apprehensive about what will happen to me that make me frustration. Dont know why, maybe there is curse on me.
and so... now i try to cope with the sadness, anger, devastation, dissapointment, and frustration.
I think i know why some people addicted to drugs or even commit suicide. Those things will blow the frustration away...

Thank God, I still have a healthy mind, no such things even across my mind.

But I wonder how good to be a psycopath is. According to dictionary, a psychopath is someone who has serious mental problems and who may act in a violent way without feeling sorry for what they have done. Well, at least they can manipulate and take a vengeance, and fell good in return.. mmmm... that what i saw in one episode of House..
But I'm not a psycopath, as mention earlier, I have a healthy mind and brain...

Maybe I just addicted to frustation.
Or maybe it just me who lame, weak and pathetic..
Then, I have to cope with it...
For how long?

Swing...

Mood swing....
I know that i am all alone handling most of the things but got nothing in return, think im not deserve it, i deserve the better though. Try to cheer up my day. Try to be normal. Try to be me.
Maybe i was destined to be like this..
Sometimes i wonder, what am i doing wrong, is there something wrong that i do, or i did? why is it hard to living in a normal way, an ordinary life???
Why is it so hard to be happy?
Why is it happening to me???
Mood swing...
Oh i need cafein... and a great jokes! At least, it can make me happy for a moment...
swing...

Uuuuffh..

Like most of the people i know, i just want to have a happy, peaceful, whealty, and convenient life... just??? well, perhaps the word just is way hyperbolic for the situation, or refer to the teens it would be defined as lebay.. hehe..

but actually, that is what i want.
and never know whether i'll get one...
i thought i'm in my PMS mode, since I got my mood swing since couple days ago.. but its not.
maybe it just me being unhappy at this moment.
ugh..

Bola

Berakhir sudah pagelaran akbar piala dunia 2010 pagi tadi, dengan Spanyol keluar sebagai juaranya.. selamet yaaa buat Spanyol, selamet ya buat fans nya Spanyol... Pagelaran yang mengesankan.. aksi individu ga laku, pemain bintang ga laku, adu penalti juga ga laku... top dah..

Tapi... menurut aku bintang Piala Dunia ini adalah si Paul Gurita itu. hihihi... Hebat juga si Paul.. di Piala Dunia ini ramalannya bener terus.... Selamet ya Paul.... hehehe...

An octopus named Paul squeezes inside a box with decorated with a Spanish flag and a shell inside on July 9, 2010 at the Sea Life aquarium in Oberhausen, western Germany. Paul's task is to decide in favour of one of the shells hidden in boxes with the flags of the Netherlands and Spain to act thus as oracle for the upcoming final match of FIFA Football World Cup between the two countries on July 11, 2010 in Johannesburg.

googling

Just read the unimportant news that Justin Beiber like googling himself.. and so he inspire me to do the same... hehehe...
interesting.
apparently my full name belongs to another person but me... who is a lecturer, graduated from a well known university, write some academic articles, active in some organizations... well, well.. hehehe..

so, we have something in common : we both graduated from well known academic institution (but i think mine is better than hers. hehe) . gees.. so our name belongs to smart lady huh? hahaha...

dasar euweuh gawe... ampun..

Tercapai...

Akhirnya tercapai juga cita-citaku : makan biscotti dengan secangkir capucinno panas.. hihi.. thanks to my dearest Hubb, dia dengan baik hati menggeret aku ke starbuck cuman buat beli itu.. hihihihi... enak bgt.. sayangnya, masih kurang.. soalnya tidak sesuai dengan cita2ku : menikmatinya dengan duduk santai ala orang perancis. duduk santai sih, tapi bukan di dalam mobil dengan my baby ikut gigitin biscotti aku itu..... hehe... bagemanapun... uenak sekali!! jadi pengen lagi... mmmmmmm.....

Pengamat Politik (kantor)

Lagi hobi nonton re-runnya Law & Order, apapun ceritanya.. mau yang SVU, mau yang CI, ato yang jaman baheula... seneng aja, dialognya bagus, aktingnya oke dan ga berlebihan dan ga dar-der-dor ala film action kampungan, pun ga ada dialog panjang-panjang di pengadilan kayak film yang tokohnya pengacara ato jaksa pada umumnya...

Melihat dari kecenderungannya, penjahat tiap episode itu pasti salah satu tokoh yang muncul di episode yang bersangkutan, tapi ga signifikan kemunculannya, sampai tiba2 si detektif bisa menemukan benang merah dari petunjuk yang ada... gara2 itu juga, tiap nonton aku selalu memperhatikan dengan baik tiap2 tokoh yang muncul, walo cuman sekelibat, perhatiin apa yang dibicarakan, dan bagaimana mimik muka si tokoh2 tersebut. Sekarang udah lumayan jago nebak penjahatnya (ga penting bgt sih!).

Tapi ternyata hobi mengamati polah tokoh yang tidak signifikan itu jadi refleks. Sebagai orang yang ga sensitif, aku selama ini ga pernah bisa merasakan sindiriran2, ato maksud dari gesture seseorang. payah deh aku kalo soal ini. Tapi ada yang beda dengan kejadian kemaren. Ceritanya kemaren ada lunch kantor, yang diundang ya orang itu-itu lagi... para pejabat dan kroco2nya.. sebagai salah satu kroco yang diundang, kita mah duduk dimana aja deh yang disediain.... tapi dalam diamku (ancur bahasanya!) aku secara refleks jadi memperhatikan gesture dari 2 pejabat tinggi yang semeja denganku. cuman 15 menit dari percakapan yang ada, tapi aku bisa menarik kesimpulan.... lucunya pas bubaran lunch seorang petinggi secara tersirat dan super halus mengunggapkan kesimpulan yang aku tarik tadi, dan petinggi yang lain yang dia ajak bicara terkaget2... dan rupanya orang lain ga ada yang ngeh.. tapi aku ngeh.. tumbeeeen.... hehe..

berarti hobi nonton Law & Order musti diterusin nih, lumayan mengasah kesensitifan dan bisa jadi pengamat politik kantor.. hihihihi....

6 years

6 years of all the happiness, the frustrations, the joy, the sorrow, the kisses, the yelling, the hugging, everything...

Thank you for being my husband
Thank you for always be there for me
Thank you for teaching me to be an adult
Thank you for being a good father for our baby
Did I ever tell you that I knew I love you before I met you, just like the song?? It is real!

And just like the song sung by Shania Twain :
I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse
I will love you with every beat of my heart .

Happy 6th anniversary my dear hubb....
Love you

Europe

Keep believing.

Maybe that is actually my motto but never realiaze it..

Since I was 7 years old, I believe that I, somehow, will be traveling to Switzerland..

Sounds so impossible, if you know me and my family, than you know how impossible it would be..

But I still keep on believing.

And this April, I was so damn lucky, coz my office granted me and the team a 12 days traveling across 5 countries in Europe, and not to mention : 2 days at Switzerland!!!!!

So, went down to Rome, and of course the great Basilica St. Peter at Vatican, the sophisticated Milan, Prato and one of the seven wonders: Pisa. And then... Switzerlaaaandddd!!! A dream come true huh??! Went high up to Mt. Titlis.. see and touch the snow for the very first time. It was real. The landscape, the cleanness, the beauty of Alpen, the softness of the snow, the freshness of the air..

And Paris... no wonder its called romantic city, it is romantic, georgeous, beautiful... When will we traveling together to Paris, my dear Hubb?? hehe... next time.. next time.. keep believing..

Down to Amsterdam, the diamond city. Dont like it, too filthy for a European city I thought. But Kukkenhoff?? Amazing! As well as Volendam.

And Germany? just have a half day at Dusseldorf, fascinating toilet seat (haha) and luxurious cars indeed...

So, just like the Terminator said : Europe, I'll be back.

I know I will.

happiness??

denger lagu ini...

Love's happiness is just an illusion
Filled with sadness and confusion

sedih banget ya kayaknya...

Biscotti

Satu kepinginan aku yang udah lama tercita-citakan tapi blum terlaksana sampai saat ini : makan biscotti almond ditemani secangkir cappuccino hangat... mmmmm...... slurp..