Mission Accomplished

Just look at the website.
I passed the exam.
The final one.
So, finish.. all of the exams that I have taken already done.
Mission accomplished.
I should be proud of my self, shouldn't I?

And now... i'm looking for another challenge... hehe..

Thank you God.. you have pointed me out that there is always a bright side even in the darkest situation..

again..

After all this time... I fall all over again to you... again and again...
I dont mind it...
as i told you long time ago.. you were and are so lovable..
thank you for being my hubby, baby,  thank you for loving me..
thank you for always be here with me, and get through this hell path..

Titik Awal

mungkin memang harus begini jalannya, mungkin memang harus mundur jauh kebelakang agar maju jauh kedepan... ufh, i wish i could turn back time....

perasaan masih ga keruan. antara senang, sedih, benci, kasian, kesel, sebel, ga mau tau, penasaran, semua jadi satu. sungguh menyebalkan dan melelahkan...
mudah2an kejadian ini seperti os (terutama os himpunan!).. saat mengalaminya kita kesel, sebel & lelah setengah mati. tapi setelah selesai semua, pengalaman itu akan jadi bahan tertawaan yang menyenangkan seumur hidup. bisa begitu ga ya? ga yakin sih...

ternyata memang banyak hal yang ga bisa dijelaskan secara logika. i believe in science, but science cannot answer my query on this particular matter...

ada yang bilang, ada kalanya kita harus menjalani hal yang ga enak, sesak dan memuakkan, supaya kita menjadi pribadi yang 'naik kelas'. menjadi orang yang lebih baik. dan katanya, Tuhan hanya akan memberi ujian pada orang sesuai dengan kemampuan orang tersebut. i believe in You, so that i know that i can through this...
bener juga sih.. andaikan kejadian ini terjadi tahun lalu, mungkin aku menyikapinya tidak begini.. karena selama ditempat ini aku memang ditempa dan dituntut untuk lebih dewasa dan berhati-hati dalam bertidak, dalam menjaga emosi....

kapan ya pergolakan ini selesai?
luluskah aku dari ujian ini?
apakah aku naik kelas?
kapan ya kejadian ini bisa jadi bahan lelucon? im looking forward to it...

all i want is a happy life....
n i want my cheerful life back...

Hey you...

there are no words to describe my feeling for you....
there are no words to describe the way you are...

but i would quote this mafioso line for you :
Q: do you want her dead?
A: no. i want her to suffer... *smirk*

A Closure

A closure defined as the act of closing or the state of being closed.
And so it does.
the case is close.
but the pain still stays inside..
it will fade away.. it will be gone totally, someday..
let the time do its job to heal the pain away...

it hurts.

Fool Me...

A fool. A dumbhead. A moron.

That’s what I am now.

All my life, I always trust my instinct, just like Gibbs trust his guts.

After so long.. my instinct try to tell me something, something that I don’t wanna know, something that I don’t wanna believe; perhaps because I don’t have enough guts to face the truth… and so I ignore it…

My mistake..

Fool...

I thought I was smart and strong… definitely not smart enough, and wait a couple days to see the strong part…

But I always know that I WILL SURVIVE...

Dear my Instinct, please forgive me, please dont leave me, please keep tell me everything that I need to know and please remind me that i have to listen to you all-the-time, and please please please encourage me to skip the denial phase.. it's so yesterday! face it whatever it is... beat it!

I need my heavy metal playlist now...

Long time...

it has been such a long time for me not visit my blog.. hehe..
a lot of things happen to me this half-year..

first visit to US embassy.... owh, what an attitude.... follow by my first step in... tadaaaaaa.... New York City! it felt like deja vu, just like i know the city so well.. hmm.... thanks to Carrie Bradshaw... hihi..

after these years.. finally i can pay a visit to USA and Canada... what a journey.. 21 hours flight.. urgh..
feel the worst jet lag ever... 12 hours time different! hahaha..

and first high cholesterol level..... uuuh from now on i have to do the healty eating things and try to work out... hmmm... thanks to the big portion of western food for the whole 2 weeks!

well, generally this half-year is good for me... and its good to see the other side of the world so we can learn to be a good human being, how to be good to others, and be a better person..

thank you God for this experience... and if you dont mind, please schedule my next travelling to Aussie or NZ, since i never been there..?? hihihi...